Monday, January 26, 2015

Nervous Nelly

You could say I'm a little nervous for tomorrow. 

It's my first Live Insanity workout. I have a lot of thoughts going through my mind like: Will they like it? Am I going to be able to talk 30 minutes in? What if I forget a move? I hope I don't mess up. What if nobody comes? What if I fall??

Considering I've never been a fitness instructor before I think I'm allowed to have all of those thoughts going through my mind. All of those thoughts are what held me back from doing it before so I think it's natural that they all pop back up today.

But one thing I've learned is that if you're not scared of failing, you're not pushing yourself enough. Even when I was hired at my new full time job a year ago I was scared of failing. I was scared of losing money, wasting everyone's time and just not being good enough. But by doing it anyway I discovered I COULD start a cafe, I COULD manage 15+ students on a daily basis and I COULD earn the respect of people I worked with who doubted the concept.

I'm trying to remind myself that hard work will pay off. The nerves are just there to make sure I challenge myself.

After all, I can't imagine going through life without creating new goals for myself. I've never been somebody that is good at just milling along. I've always had something in the distance that I was chasing after. In high school it was to get into Penn State University. While at Penn State it was to get into a dietetic internship program. While in my internship it was to pass the RD exam. When I passed the RD exam it was to get a job. When I got a job (that I quickly realized I hated) it was to find a new, BETTER job. When I got the better job, its turned into becoming my own boss and being responsible for ME and people who want help. So that's where I am now. I want to teach Insanity to people who are ready to challenge themselves physically and mentally. I want to help show people that you can do anything you want. I want to turn my side business into my full time income. Because I've found it's what I truly love doing.

I've always been a nervous nelly when it comes to achieving my goals. But somehow I've always dug deep and found the strength inside to perform well in those scary situations. So that's what I'm hoping for tonight…the ability to dig deep and fake it till I make it tomorrow ;)

Wish me luck!


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